Andwhen I die 
Won'tyou bury me 
 In the parkin' lot 
 Ofthe A & P? 
 Blow out the candles 
 And blow out the lamps 
 And light my pyre 
With my tradin' stamps 
Yee-ha!
 I had three books 
 But I needed four 
To go to heaven 
 And redeem my soul 
What happened to two, Mike?
 I had two books 
 But I needed three 
 To deliver me 
 From the A & P 
Bravo, Mike! Bravo!
Bellissima!
You really make that up?
Are you really going to shave your legs?
Certo. All the Italians do it.
Some country. The women don't shave theirs.
Eh, huh?
Stop!
It was somewhere right along here that I lost all interest in life.
Aha! It was right here.
This is where I saw Dolores Reineke...
and fat Marvin!
Why, Dolores?
Why?
They're married now.
See what I saved you from?
If I hadn't told you, you never would have followed them out here.
You made me lose all interest in life,
and I'm grateful.
My brother said he saw you and Nancy, Moocher.
When?
Uh...Iast Friday.
Well, it wasn't me.
I'm not seeing her anymore.
I kind of miss school.
This will be the first time
no one will ask us to write a theme
- about how we spent our summer. - Yeah.
When you're 1 6, they call it sweet 1 6.
At 1 8, you can drink, vote, and see dirty movies.
What the hell do you get to do when you're 1 9?
You leave home.
My dad said
Jesus never went further than 50 miles from his home.
Look what happened to him.
Whoo!
Hey, man, this feels great!
Ahh! Come on in!
Hey, come on in, Dave.
I read where this Italian coach said
it's no good to swim right after a race.
Who's swimming? I'm taking a leak.
 L 'biamo, l'biamo 
 L 'mecci allicci que l'bellezza empiora 
 Ella fuggevole 
 Fuggevole ora 
 Sin abbreviato lutta 
 L 'biamo ni docci appremiti... 
Dave,
i s Moocher hom e?
 L e amore 
 Que quelle l'occhio accore 
 Ominipotante va 
 L 'biamo, amore, amore 
H ey, ci ao, Bambini.
 Puccali bocci del abra 
Buon giorno!
 Ha ha, n 'esco praildi 
 N'fasi 
H e was as norm al as pum pki n pi e,
and now look at hi m.
H is poor parents.
I t's that cologne he wears.
I t's cal led...
Neapolitan Sunset.
Yeah? Well, the flies seem to like it.
There.
This is it?
Well, you know what the doctor said.
At your age--
What the hell do you mean "at my age"?
Damn see-through coffee.
He says you have a bad heart.
That's got nothing to do with my age.
Our son's ruining my health, Evelyn.
What's he going to do?
He wanted a year off, so I give him a year.
It hasn't been a yearyet.
But, Evelyn, look what's happened to him. He's turned into an " Ity."
"Ciao, Papa. Ciao, mama. 'Arrivederci.'"
That's " Ity" talk.
I used to think it was funny at first.
Not funny anymore.
He was very sickly
until he started riding around on that bike.
Well, now his body's fine, but his mind is going.
He used to be a smart kid.
I thought he'd go to college.
You didn't want him to.
Why should he? I neverwent.
At 1 9, I worked in the quarry ten hours a day.
Most of the quarries have closed.
Let him find another job.
Jobs are not that easy to find.
Let him look at least.
Let him come home tired from looking.
He's never tired.
He's never miserable.
He's young.
When I was young, I was tired and miserable.
I had my own place at 1 7.
He says Italian families stay together.
Evelyn, we are not Italian.
I know, I know.
It's just that I come from a big family myself,
and it was kind of nice.
He thinks we should have another child.
What?
Buon giorno, Papa.
I'm not Papa! I'm your damn father!
Buon giorno, Mama.
She's your damn mother.
Did you win again?
The victory, she was easy,
but the promoter tells me
that the Italians will be here soon.
I will race with the best-- Italianos.
Like nightingales they sing.
Like eagles they fly.
Speaking of flies, you brought some in.
Fly in Italian is mosca.
I n English it's " pest."
Speaking of pests--
Isn't this a lovely trophy?
Oh, yeah.
So what?
I lived 50 years, I never got a trophy.
You never got a trophy?
Nope, never got one.
I give you this,
numero uno, King Papa.
Don't do that.
I have to take a shower.
[Figaro Playing]
There's that " Ity" music again!
I'm having this out with him now!
 Abra m'figaro, abra m'figaro 
 Abra bellissimo, hatte fortuna 
 Hatte fortuna, hatte fortuna Leone cara... 
What's the matter?
He's shavi ng.
Wel l, so what?
H is legs.
He's shavi ng his legs.
 Figaro 
 Fi 
 Garo 
 Figaro, figaro, figaro, figaro 
Yoo-hoo.
Nancy!
I was just on my way to work.
Come on in.
You know what?
No. What?
I 'm leaving home, that's what.
Where are you going?
About five blocks south.
Oh.
I found this nice little place to rent.
It's so cute I could scream.
My folks said I could have some of their furniture.
All right!
Maybe you could give me a hand... moving.
Oh, sure.
If I'm not too busy, you know?
How's the job?
You know what?
Frank said if I keep up the good work,
in time, I'll become head cashier.
That's great.
Well, I should go now.
Nancy.
Uh...
I think I'll walkyou to work.
I'm going out that way anyways.
It gets 30 miles to the gallon.
Of course, the mileage you get mayvary.
It's a beaut, right?
Right.
Boy, you sure know how to pick 'em.
Frankly, this is the best car on the lot.
Quality product.
Buon giorno, Papa!
Come sta?
Friend ofyours?
Aren't you glad we got fired from the A & P?
I mean, right now, we'd be working.
We didn't get fired, Mike.
You got fired. We quit.
All for one and one for all.
You know, there ain't many places
that will hire all four of us.
- You know what I'd like to be? - Smart.
A cartoon of some kind.
Wouldn't that be great?
You know, when they get hit on the head
with a frying pan
and their head looks like the frying pan
with the handle and everything?
Then they go booooing!
Their head comes back to normal.
Wouldn't that be great?
How did you get to be so stupid, Cyril?
I don't know. Guess I have a dumb heredity.
What's your excuse, Michael?
You hear from your folks, Mooch?
Yeah, my dad called.
There's a lot more jobs in Chicago.
He hasn't gotten anything yet, though.
Wanted to know if the house was sold.
He could use the money something fierce.
You can come live with me when it's sold.
In Italy, everybody lives together.
Since you won that Italian bike, man,
you've been acting weird.
You're really getting to thinkyou're Italian.
I wouldn't mind thinking I was somebody myself.
I think the door's stuck on that icebox.
I can't see him!
Oh, yoo-hoo!
It's got no back on it.
What the hell are they doing here?
I've never seen anybody dive off from up there.
Hey, you bastards!
Who's that?
Hey, cutters!
They got indoor and outdoor pools on campus,
and they got to come here.
It's my goddamn quarry.
This hole,
this quarry hole is mine!
Hey, screw you, Cyril.
Come on, let's get out of here.
If they can come here,
then we'll go to their campus.
Going to college
must do something to girls' tits, I swear.
Just look at 'em.
Hi there!
What's your major?
Sure look like they've got it made.
That's because they're rich.
Italians are poor, but they're happy.
Yeah, maybe in Italy.
Whoa! Whoo!
Hey, good one.
Go!
All right! Here.
I wonder what it's like to kiss a coed.
[Tires Screech]
Ha ha ha ha ha!
[Student] Come on!
Hey, that bastard's giving us the finger.
Hey, we're on their turf, Mike.
Come on!
Dumb-ass cutters!
Goddamn bastard-lickin' retards!
Number 1, move!
Hut! 1 8! Hut!
[Whistle Blows]
I thought I was a great quarterback in high school.
Still think so, too.
Can't even bring myself to light a cigarette
because I keep thinking I got to stay in shape.
Know what really gets me?
I got to live in this stinking town,
and I got to read in the newspapers
about some hotshot kid,
new star of the college team.
Everyyear it's going to be a new one...
and everyyear, it's never going to be me.
I'm just going to be Mike.
20-year-old Mike.
30-year-old Mike.
Old mean old man Mike.
These college kids will never get old or out of shape
'cause new ones come along everyyear.
They're going to keep calling us cutters.
To them, it's just a dirtyword.
To me, it's just something else
I never got a chance to be.
Quanto serra il pro-
pro-pros-prossimo.
Mama Mia!
[Horn Honks]
Signorina!
Signorina...
signorina...
you, uh...
i s yours, no?
You mean you've been chasi ng me with this?
I s nothi ng.
Niente, signorina.
Are you an exchange student or something?
Si.
I am Italiano.
My name is Enrico Gimondi.
My name is Katherine Bennett.
Ah, Catherina.
Catherina.
Well, thanks again...
again.
Bye.
Ciao.
[Pop, Hiss]
Son of a bitch!
All right, keep it steady!
Keep your elbows bent!
That's--that's right!
Pick it up, Kath... 30!
Hi.
What are you doing, Kathy?
Goddamn it!
I want an answer, Evelyn.
What are we going to do about him?
I don't know, dear.
We could strangle him while he's asleep.
That's not funny, Evelyn.
Talk to him.
I'm afraid to talk to him. I'm afraid to look at him.
I'm afraid his eyes would twirl like pinwheels.
I'm only giving you these
because you promised to calm down.
Don't expect any more.
 Amor Alma 
I can't eat with that noise on.
 Si mourto apprezzi
 L 'bello-- 
Evelyn, he's not even in his room.
Stop!
What the hell are you doing? Them's my French fries!
Oh, Mama!
Evelyn!
Oh, my God, what's the matter?
Mio cuore. My heart.
Oh, my heart!
It's these damn French fries.
Hey, they're my damn French fries.
I have such a pain in my heart, Mama, Papa.
I'm in love.
[Music Playing]
Suzy says this guy sent you flowers.
So what? You never sent me flowers.
Who is he, Kath?
Some crazy guy I met.
God, what's gotten into you?
Buon giorno.
Mama!
Mama, the Italians are coming!
They're coming to race in I ndianapolis!
The team Cinzano!
Oh, grazie, Dona do Santa Maria.
Oh, Dave, try not to become Catholic on us.
Grazie, signore.
Molto grazie!
Faster.
[Si ren]
Dam n!
Ahh.
Ah, there you are, Fel I i ni.
Come sta, eh?
Are you hungry?
This is spicy meatballs here.
Mmm!
[Slurps]
Mangiare, eh?
Hey, hey!
Guess what. The Italians are coming.
Guess what. Mooch is going.
You've got to talk to him.
Where're you going, Mooch?
He's getting a job.
So?
So? He's getting a job!
[Mike] Campus street carwash.
Going to wait on college boys.
Don't forget to smile now ifyou want a tip.
I thought we were going to stick together, man.
I need a job, Mike.
Don't go, Mooch.
They only let you out on weekends and holidays.
See you later, Cyril.
Hey, don't forget to write.
Hey.
Take it easy.
Ciao.
You're a little late,
but I guess you won't let that happen again.
Sorry.
Here's your sponge and rag,
and there's your place.
And don't forget to punch the clock, shorty.
All right!
Bravo!
[Whistling]
Yeah!
Whoo!
Way to go, Mooch!
You know, them college boys ain't so smart.
I sold one of my worst cars to one of them today.
They ain't too smart.
It's a good thing that Dave never--
What is this?
It's, um...
sauteed zucchini.
It's " Ity" food.
I don't want no " Ity" food.
It's not.
I got it at the A & P.
It's like, uh... squash.
I know " Ity" food when I hear it.
It's all them "ini" foods--
Zucchini and linguini and fettuccine.
I want some American food, damn it!
I want French fries!
[Meow]
Oh, get off the table, Fellini!
That's my cat!
His name is Jake, not Fellini.
I won't have any "ini" in this house!
Your name is Jake, you understand?
[Meow]
Your parents asking what you're going to do?
I think they're getting curious.
I sure miss playing basketball.
I got depressed as hell
when my athlete's foot and jock itch went away.
So why did you give it up?
Oh, I don't know.
Ah...
I was sure I was going to get that scholarship.
My dad, of course, was sure that I wouldn't.
When I didn't, he was really understanding, you know?
He loves to be understanding when I fail.
"That's O.K., Cyril. I understand."
He even bought me that guitar
'cause he was sure I'd never learn to play it.
I'm supposed to take this college entrance exam.
You're going to college?
Hell, no!
I just want to see if I can pass.
Huh.
Maybe I'll take it, too, and flunk it.
My dad's birthday's coming up.
Hey, now, look at this.
That's the place to be right there-- Wyoming.
Nothing but prairies and mountains and nobody around.
All you need is a bedroll and a good horse.
Don't forget your toothbrush.
You're still in your cavity-prone years.
Hey, here's your brother.
I, uh, hearyou've been hot-rodding around campus again.
I wasn't hot-rodding.
I'm going to have to take the car back
ifyou keep it up.
All right.
All right, all right, all right.
All right.
How you doing, guys?
Well, we're a little disturbed
by developments in the Middle East,
but other than that...
Pussy cop.
Hey, I know what let's do.
Let's drive to Terre Haute tomorrow.
We ain't been out of this B-town
in God knows how long.
That sounds like a good idea.
I'm, uh...
I'm kind of busy tomorrow.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm kind ofbusy myself tomorrow.
Well, I just might go myself, then.
[Italian Music Playing]
 Ah ah, la da 
[Guitar Notes Playing]
That's it.
Cyril, that's it. I recognize it.
Damn right.
But you got to play it much louder, O.K.?
Don't worry.
I'll make this catgut meow.
[Strums Loud Chord]
 Ha ha ha 
Come on, just slow down.
Watch out for the hole! Ow!
How about a little music?
Catherina!
 M'appari 
 Tutt' amor 
 Il mio 
 Sguardo 
 L 'incontro 
 Bella si
 Che il mio cor 
 Ansio 
Play it, Cyril!
 So a lei volo 
 Mi feri 
 M'invaghi 
 Quell'Angelica belta 
 Sculta in cor 
 Dall'amor cancellarsi non porta 
 Il pensier di poter 
 Palpitar con lei d'amor 
 Puo sopir il martir 
 Che m 'affan 
 Na e strazia il cor 
 E strazia il cor 
 M'appari 
 Tutt' amor 
 Il mio 
 Sguardo 
 L 'incontro 
Oh, h i, Rod.
I was just wonderi ng
i f you knew there was a guy over here serenadi ng Kath.
 Ansioso a lei volo 
 Marta, Marta 
 Tu sparisti 
 E il mio cor 
 Cor tuo n'ando 
 Tu la 
 Pace 
 Mi rapisti 
 Do dolor 
 Io moriro 
 Ah 
 Di dolor morro 
 Si 
 Morro 
Good ni ght and thank you!
Whoa!
I have to go i n.
I haven't ridden double
since I was a little girl.
And I 've never been serenaded.
So...
it was a lovely evening.
Molto grazie.
Right?
Buona notte, Catherina.
I 'm fine!
He won't tell me who did it.
It was dark!
I only know they all wore Brut aftershave
and reeked of Lavoris.
Why were you there by yourself?
I was just walking.
Well, what kind of car did they drive?
It was a Mercedes convertible.
Was it blue?
Yes.
I've seen that car.
They want a fight, we'll give them a fight.
We rednecks are few.
College paleface students are many.
I counsel peace.
Come on. Let's go find those bastards.
I have to go somewhere.
You haven't pledged any sorority?
No.
You should. Most frat guys won't date dormies.
I'm the exception.
So, you're on the swimming team, huh?
Yep.
Breaststroke.
 Loosen it up 
 Loosen it up... 
Is that him?
I guess.
Who are they?
A bunch of cutters.
What are cutters?
Townies.
There it is. There's his Mercedes.
Mike, I don't think we can go in there.
Oh, yeah? Watch this.
Shit.
Uh, due cappaccino.
Oh, that's the wrong guy.
A bunch of cutter kids.
There he is.
Hi there.
Would you like to roll some balls?
Come on, Cyril!
I can't get it out.
My finger's stuck.
My papa, he tells me,
"Figlio mio,
"we are fishermen in our family
"for as far back as I can see.
"You--you can do what you want.
"You go to America.
Say hello to the new world for me."
My papa.
It's nice you miss your parents.
Certo, I miss.
J ust like you miss your mama and papa.
I--I don't miss them.
I went as far as I could to get away from them.
They miss you.
At home, they sit, and they look at your photo,
and they say,
"Ah, how we miss our Catherina,
our bambina."
You shouldn't smoke.
What's your major?
Sosh.
Oh, sosh. That's a nice major.
Would you mind if I--
What are you cutters doing here?
Did you get lost?
No.
Then why don't you get lost now?
Is that him?
Uh... no. No, I don't think it is.
Let's get out ofhere.
Smart move, shorty.
All right! Break it up!
Oh, shit.
Break it up!
We gotta go now.
Come on.
Cutters started it!
Break it up, everybody. Get out of there.
Move it! Let's go!
Most ofyou will only spend fouryears here,
but to a lot of us, Bloomington is our home.
I don't like how you've been behaving in my home.
Ifyou feel compelled to compete with the kids from the town,
you will do it in a different arena.
We're expanding this year's Little 500 bicycle race
to include a team from the town.
But they're not good enough.
I don't want to be in the Little 500.
Oh, Christ.
I thought you'd jump at the chance.
I don't want to be seen with all those college kids.
That's the point!
Don't you want to beat those shitheads
in front of everybody?
Doesn't it take four to have a team?
Well, we got four...
I mean, don't we?
We all enter, Dave rides the whole thing,
and we win!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
Uh...
Iook, Mike.
I'm going to be working that day, O.K.?
Working?
Yeah, I'm getting a job.
Byyourself?
Yeah! I need the money.
Thanks, Dave. That's really great.
You're a real pal!
You won't be working
the day of the Italian race.
The time comes when we all have to go our own ways.
You're a real adult, aren't you?
B-town boy grows up.
It's going to happen sometime.
Oh, yeah.
Is that what Nancy says?
J ust leave her out of this.
Shut up, would you? I wasn't talking to you.
Hey, well, I don't give a damn!
You're not the quarterback here, Mike!
At least I was once!
Which is better than being a midget all my life!
Cut it out! Just cut it out!
Hey, bambino, che cosa?
J ust drop that Italian, all right?
I'm really sick of that crap.
Oh, shit!
You're just afraid of those college guys.
And you're not, right, Mike?
The only thing I'm afraid of
is wasting my life with you guys!
I thought that was the whole plan,
that we were going to waste our lives together.
What's he doing? That guy--
Come on, Rod!
Come on, Mike!
Yay, Rod! Whoo!
[Cheering]
Come on, Rod!
You can do it! Come on, Mike!
Yay, Rod!
Uhh!
Mike!
Hold on, Mike!
I tried calling her to tell her,
but I just couldn't.
She's going to see you in the 500, you know.
You know, if she really likes you,
she just won't care.
Hey, uh, Dave, me and Nancy,
we're going to get married.
Moocher, you're Catholic, aren't you?
Yeah.
You ever go to confession?
Twice.
Make you feel better?
Once.
[Bell Tolls]
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
You look nice.
Your hair looks great.
What do you think they're going to ask us?
Nothing we can't answer, I suppose.
Wonder if I have to have a job to qualify.
I don't think so.
I think it's mostly blood and relatives
that they're interested in.
Great. I got both of them.
Oh, fudge! You know what?
No. What?
I only brought $4.00.
Oh, well, it's only 5.
Tell you what. We'll go Dutch.
On a marriage license?
Sure. Why not?
[Horn Honks]
Papa!
Ciao, Papa!
[Car Engine Not Starting]